Josh Elledge - Chief Executive Angel
How to make New Year’s resolutions that stickWith the new year looming, people are looking at what they did in 2015, and wanting to make changes. Now I’m big on self-reflection, and I’m definitely all for resolutions, but only for ones that will actually happen. For example, if you rashly vow to lose 20 pounds by next month, or you vow to not spend any money all year on gifts because you overdid it over the holidays… those are never going to happen. Those vows are completely unrealistic.
In my opinion, making unrealistic New Year’s resolutions is one of the biggest reasons people fail to keep them. In fact, some people purposely make their resolutions crazy because they really have no intention of making any actual changes. That way, when they fail… and they will… they don’t really fail, because the resolution vow was outrageous to begin with.
Instead of making unrealistic resolutions, and pretending you’re serious about change, how about making ones that are actually attainable, using tools and tricks for keeping them, and making some solid progress in your life in 2016?
If you’re with me, I have three keys to making New Year’s resolutions that stick:
Key #1 – Break it into manageable pieces and steps.
When you don’t break down a large goal, it is a recipe for failure; you become frozen and indecisive. You don’t know where to begin or what to do next. You try a few things haphazardly, become overwhelmed, and eventually abandon the resolution altogether.
Instead, take your overall goal and brainstorm ways to work toward it. You may even want to set several “milestone” goals for along your journey. Then, organize your ideas in an order that makes sense. For example, if your goal is to lose 20 pounds and get into shape, don’t head out and try to run 5 miles. That’s crazy. You’ll do it once, and never again. Rather, begin by walking at a comfortable place, and just around the block. As you build your stamina, you can increase your distance, effort and speed.
Key #2 – Don’t try to go it alone.
Sometimes we’re a little too independent when it comes to making changes in ourselves and in our lives. Perhaps it’s because we’re embarrassed, or it feels awkward asking for help, or we’re stubbornly determined that we have to do it ourselves. Whatever the reason, the result is still the same. Failure. If you can’t tell at least one other person of your goal, you’ll probably fail at it. Guaranteed.
Oh, you might do okay for a while, based on sheer willpower and the desire to prove me wrong. But you’ll eventually run out of spit and vinegar and need someone else to encourage you. And that’s okay. Abandon the tendency to be completely self-sufficient and get someone in on your goal with you. Whether you share a common goal, or your goals differ, doesn’t matter much. Of course, it can be easier to work together toward the same goal, but the accountability is what matters most.
When you choose someone, choose specifically for your own success. It may not work for you to choose your spouse or best friend, even though they may be the easy choice. It has to be someone that will provide the motivation you need. Avoid choosing someone that is either too easy on you or too hard on you; someone that isn’t very supportive; or someone that struggles with the same issue you’re trying to overcome, but isn’t committed to making any positive changes themselves. Any of those choices won’t work and you’ll fail.
Key #3 – Set a realistic time frame and give yourself room to breathe.
All too often, New Year’s resolutions are set out of frustration or disappointment with the prior year, so the desire to see changes quickly can be very strong. But without the appropriate amount of time to achieve, and room to breathe, vows will fail.
Take, for example, wanting to get out of debt. Expecting to pay off thousands within just a few months is completely unrealistic. Instead of setting yourself up for discouragement, honestly calculate how long it will take. By having the proper time frame in mind, you’ll be less likely to abandon the goal, plus you’ll be able to breathe and make it through any unforeseen setbacks.
One last tip: As you work on your New Year’s resolutions over the coming months, acknowledge and celebrate victories, no matter how small. Steady progress will eventually get you to your goal. Don’t overlook opportunities to be encouraged on your journey.
